Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
