Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
