How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
