There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
