I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
