My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
