is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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