Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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