Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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