I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
