i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
