i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Two words: nipple clamps
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