She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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