so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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