me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
