Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
