Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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