Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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