quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
