Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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