Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
