there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
