mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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