oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
