My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
How external is "for external use only"?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
