should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
