as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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