It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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