He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
