cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There's a naked man in my car right now.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
