if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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