I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
