he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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