I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
