so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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