This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
