How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize