Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
