I looked at my own cervix.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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