I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
