No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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