I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
