Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
