another moral hangover. fuck.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
