I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
