I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
