i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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