Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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