nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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