I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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