Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
