Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
